Happy 8th Birthday!

Shaynna turns 8 today.  It pains me a lot when I'm away on her special day.  I know that someday she will understand why.

As my gift to her, I compiled some of her photos since she was a baby and she loved it. :)
I love you so much, baby.

2+ years gap, she's turning 8 soon!

I can't believe it took me more than 2 years to add another post to this blog!   It's not the right time to scold myself now so I'll just get down to sharing some updates.

Shaynna is now 7 years old and she's turning 8 in October!  Time does fly so fast and I'm already very anxious about her becoming a teenager (and I still don't want that)!

My little girl is now in second grade but she's as thin as she was in first grade.  It is still so hard to convince her to eat a lot.  The photos below were taken last year but there's no difference now (except for the larger hair accessories that she always wears nowadays).

Here she is in her school uniform:

 In her P.E. uniform:

She experienced her first disappointment at school a few months ago.  She didn't make it to the honor's list because she got a low grade in Mathematics.  Of course I didn't scold her.  Who would have the heart to after hearing from her that she was angry with herself.  I even had a hard time holding back my tears when she told me that.

Instead of sulking in the corner, she has decided to join the Mathematics Club in her school and she's one of the officers.

I don't know where she gets that attitude of standing back up again.  So proud of my little girl!

Because I'm a girl

Shaynna and I in the middle of our phone conversation:

Me: Baby, dapat ka mag sleep ug sayo para motubo ka.
(Baby, you have to go to sleep early so that you would grow tall.)

Shaynna: Tan-aw pa man ko cartoons, mommy.
(I want to watch cartoons, mommy.)

Me: Sleep na para pareha ka katas-a sa daddy nimo.
(You have to go to sleep so that you would grow as tall as your daddy.)

Shaynna: Dili ko oi. Babae biya ko mommy...
(I don't want to [grow as tall as daddy]. Have you forgotten that I'm a girl, mommy?)

Eat more...

My mother, Mama Conching and Shaynna had the usual conversation during dinner:

Mama Conching: Shaynna, eat pa
Shaynna: No
Mama Conching: Why?
Shaynna: I'm busog

The Sun goes to sleep

Shaynna and her dad in one of their bonding moments:

Shaynna: kanang daddy di ba wala nay Sun kay natulog na? Kay siya man nagbantay nato ug buntag daun sa gabii ang moon na pud bantay nato sa?
(Daddy, the Sun is already asleep, right? Because she watches over us during daytime and at night, the moon watches over us, right?)

Boknoy knows

Tyrone's family has a dog named "Boknoy". Unlike me, Shaynna is not afraid of dogs. And she has a reason not to be...

Shaynna: Daddy, si Boknoy, dili ko paakon kay kaila man na siya na anak ko nimo.
(Daddy, Boknoy will not bite me because he knows that I'm your daughter.)

Off to Pre-school

Last year, I've asked my parents to enroll Shaynna in a nursery school in Iligan City. However, no school accepts a 2-year old. Shaynna is already 3 years old, so she now goes to Montessori School in Iligan City. Weeks before the start of classes, she's been bugging everyone at home about going to school. She even narrated that if Papa were still alive, Papa would also be there on her first day. She was very excited. But what happened today, the first day?

My mother, Manang Gina, Shaynna's father, and I went with her to school. As we approached the school gate, Shaynna would no longer let go of my hand. As we went inside the gate, I had to carry her to the classroom because she looked scared and she started to cry. When were already inside the classroom, she clung on to me tightly, much like a monkey. I tried to talk to her and explain that I had to get out of the room but it did no good. The classes started and I was the only parent inside the room. More than an hour passed of convincing and even playing with her while her classmates did other activities, she still wouldn't get off me.

Then it was time for them to eat their snacks. I asked her to throw a biscuit wrapper and surprisingly, she got off me. Taking that chance, I silently went out of the classroom and went to the waiting area to check on my mother. Shaynna's father was outside the classroom and when I went back to check on Shaynna, her father was trying to soothe her. I was out for only a few seconds and I was not aware that she tailed after me crying! That time, Shaynna would not get near me because she felt bad that I left her.

And So, We Met Again

Last April, a month before my father's death, he was hospitalized due to heart attack, the first attack. When he was still in the hospital, I promised to let him visit his hometown in Bohol after his recovery. He had always loved being with his siblings and relatives. A month later, he died in his beloved hometown. Mama, my sister, and Shaynna were with him in Bohol. From Japan, I had to go directly to Bohol.

As the taxi approached my aunt's house, I saw Shaynna. I was torn between the fear of not being acknowledged by Shaynna and the dread of seeing my lifeless father. As I got off the taxi, I was met by my mother. At that moment, everything else flew away from my mind and all I could feel was far beyond grief. It was the deepest pain I've ever felt.

As I was crying my heart out, someone hugged my left leg and as I looked down, I met the eyes of someone I've been longing to meet again. I've always feared that my 3-year old daughter won't come near me, being away from her for almost 2 years. She then stretched out her hands, urging me to pick her up, while saying "mommy". At a young age, she seemed to understand everyone's pain, my pain and unknowingly became my strength, my comfort.

Shaynna's Christening

Weeks before the end of my maternity leave, we decided to have Shaynna's christening. She just slept through the whole event.

Postpartum

Giving birth is really not a joke. However, if all the pains and discomfort after
birth are combined, labor pains couldn't compare. It took me more than 15 days to physically recover. Then there's the bust pains because Shaynna's now bottle-fed. The most difficult of all: depression. I don't know why I easily and often get depressed. I can't explain why I'm overly sensitive and always hot-headed. I'm gathering more strength to fight off these postpartum negative emotions... strength that I get from just staring at my little angel...

2nd Visit to the Pediatrician

Shaynna's cold and cough just disappeared but there's another thing that almost gave me a heart attack: she has some red, tiny spots in her face and her arms! Rashes? Allergies?
The doctor advised us to avoid using baby powder, baby oil, anything on that could be applied on the skin. (Of course I didn't applied any of these to her) We were also told to change the laundry soap used to wash her clothes. If these don't alleviate the condition after a day or two, we need to try switching to a lactose-free formula. Yes, sadly, "my milk" came in too late that when I tried breastfeeding her, she'd no longer take it. She got sooo used to her formula. (I forgot the name of the milk they gave her in the hospital.)

Days after, it became apparent that Shaynna, is indeed, not tolerant of lactose. We switched to S26 Lactose-Free.

First visit to the Pediatrician

Shaynna is still a week old... but she already got colds... and cough! Plus, her skin color turned somewhat yellowish. This really freaked me out and brought her immediately to the pediatrician. We were given some very mild cough medicine and some sort of vitamins. (Sorry I already forgot the whole medication given)

Bathtime!

Ok, it's time to bath little Shaynna... the problem was: my mother seemed to had lost her motherly skills and tricks! She had my younger sister 20 years ago... a good reason, don't you think? Yes? No?

Anyway, since it would also be my first time to give less-than-a-month baby a bath, we really should seek professional help... meaning, calling Shaynna's other grandma to help us out. Also, it was still a little bit hard for me to move around. After-birth pains, remember?

In the end, the team-up of two grandmas finished this very complex task and I just ended up watching the whole process. Maybe next time, I'd give it a try... if I'm no longer afraid to accidentally drop my baby. ^-^

Shaynna's bath time poses:

Hello, Shaynna Lexine

At 3:00PM, with my aunt's help, I agonizingly made my way to the nursery. God, after-birth pains were even more painful!

As we approached the nursery, we heard a baby crying sooo loud and laughed when I found out that it was my baby.

Everyone, meet Shaynna Lexine:She weighs 6 pounds and she has this purplish birthmark in her ankle.

The Delivery

Around 12:30am, the labor pains became more frequent: around 15-minute intervals. I did my
best to ignore the pains so I kept talking and kidding with those who went with us to the hospital. I bravely put on a cheerful face that the nurse who kept on checking me couldn't believe that I am already in labor... and in so much pain!

By the way, there were about 5 women who "waited" with me: my mother, my grandmother, a neighbor (I consider her as my aunt), my aunt, and my baby's grandmother. There was only a single bed and a sofa in my room so look at how they "camped" in my room:
At around 1:30am, the pain came at 5-minute intervals that I could no longer put up a brave face. I was pretty sure that my face was already contorted with pain, and I asked the nurse to give me the anesthesia. A few seconds after the injection of those pain killers, I felt very dizzy and fell asleep. But from time to time, I would wake up from the extreme pain!

Almost 3:00am. The bag of water broke. At first I thought I peed due to the extreme pain but the doctor immediately called her nurses that it's time. I had to be transported to the delivery room but all-women that they were, they could not carry me to the stretcher! I had to ignore my pains for a while and roll over to the stretcher.

My mother went with me inside the delivery room. Even in the midst of labor pains, I reminded my mother to take pictures when my baby comes out!

Important reminder for expectant mothers: Don't tire yourself by pushing aimlessly. Wait for that time when you feel like the poop's coming out. Indeed, labor pains feels like you're having an extreme case of diarrhea, but five times more painful!

The pain dulled my senses and all I could remember was giving 3 strong pushes and the baby came out at 3:25am. I heard the nurse praising me for being good at pushing! haha! So easy for her to say... then I fell asleep again. Later on, the pain killer wore off and I woke up at the painful stitches the doctor was doing. Then I slept again. I woke up at lunch time just to eat then went back to sleep.

I did not place the pictures here when my baby was being cleaned up by the nurse because they might appear gross to you. ^-^

Why are you here?

I was really tired from last night's ordeal that I slept until after lunch time. Then I noticed some bloody spots and was told that I'm on labor! The labor pains were not that frequent yet and were still neglible but I made preparations, anyway. I was really scared of the pain that I was going to face but I did my best not to think about it and practiced more those breathing patterns.

Night came, all I had were bloody spots and the labor pains were still negligible. But I prefer to wait in the hospital so at 9:00PM, I was already sitting in the Emergency Room of Mercy Community Hospital in Iligan City, signing some admission forms.

When I was led to the weighing scale, the nurse who assisted me asked, "What are you doing here? Why are you being admitted?" I just calmly answered, "I am in labor and I'm going to deliver this baby soon". He could not believe that I was already 9 months pregnant. My tummy was so small that you might think I'm still in my 6th month.

To the first-time mothers: I warn you that those dilation checks are really, really, unpleasant. For me, it was traumatic, and I wouldn't even try to describe it here. ^-^ Also, try not to mind the nurse doing the "clean-up" and other "preparations". I also asked for an all-women delivery team.

Then the waiting began...

Stranded!

My mother had to go to Cagayan de Oro and everyone in the house was going with her. So there'd be no one to look after me when the time comes. My mother figured out that it would be more convenient to take me along with her. Taking along tons of pillows for cushioning, I tagged along. We took one of our passenger jeepneys so we were able to go to the SM Mall in Cagayan de Oro City where I did my last-minute shopping.

On the way back to Iligan City, the driver (my Uncle Sonny) noticed that there's a problem with the engine. Later on, he decided to check it and park somewhere in between Iligan City and Cagayan de Oro City. Unfortunately, it was impossible to fix it with the limited tools and there was no auto-shop nearby! The engine would no longer start so we are left with no option but get the other jeep to drag the defective one to Iligan city. My mother, my sister, and I could have went home ahead of the others but that could have cost too much. Plus my mother have to stay with the jeep because we didn't secure a permit to travel beyond Iligan City. This won't be a problem if the owner is IN the jeepney. So, I spent the night in the jeep, trying to sleep in a comfortable position (which was impossible).

At the break of dawn, the other jeepney arrived and we slowly headed back to Iligan City.

Baby, please hurry up!

I forgot how boring it was when there's no internet connection! So I had to buy a modem and make do with the dial-up internet connection. I'm praying that my baby would arrive early so that I would get to spend more time with her.

Yeah, I decided to name her "Shaynna Francine". But when my brother heard about it, he was ecstatic, thinking that I named my baby after him. And it struck me... there's no way I would name my baby after my brother! We always fight each other and I didn't want him to be flattered and all... so I am now searching for another name. But I'm retaining "Shaynna". ^-^

My brother's name is "Frances Glen". He was named after our grandparents.
Frances = from Eufracio and Cesaria, My father's parents
Glen = from Gleceria, my mother's mother

Going Home

As I have apprehended, I was almost banned from boarding the ship (Trans-asia Shipping)! I told them that I secured a medical certificate from my ob-gynecologist proving that I am fit to travel. However, I could not find the certificate! I just assured them that I am telling the truth and that I'm gonna show them the certificate before the ferry leaves Cebu. I found it a few minutes later but they didn't ask me again about it.

The following morning, we arrived in Cagayan de Oro. We still had to travel by land for about 2 1/2 hours. It was a bumpy ride that I was afraid I'd go into a premature labor.

My Assistants

My 2 siblings and my mother arrived in Cebu to fetch me. I have no plans of delivering the baby in Cebu. First, the delivery cost is very high, and it's hard to find someone to help me take care of the baby.

So that I won't have any problem upon boarding the ship, I went to my ob-gynecologist, had my final checkup and got a medical certificate from her that I am still fit to travel and board a ship.

Since I already received my maternity pay, my mother and my siblings went to the mall to do THE shopping. I was really surprised that baby stuffs could cost too much! But it's ok, I've always loved buying baby stuffs... more so that I was buying for my baby.